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It’s that time of year when men everywhere start sporting a fuzzy upper lip, but do you know the reason behind this annual outbreak of moustaches?
It’s all to raise awareness for the charity, Movember, which is changing the face of men’s health (literally). Movember focuses on the three health issues that hit men the hardest: prostate cancer, testicular cancer and mental health.
A huge part of Movember’s mission is working on suicide prevention. One man dies by suicide every minute of every day. 69% of all lives lost by suicide are men and the group most at risk of suicide is middle aged men. Shocked? We all should be.
Suicide isn’t always the result of a mental health issue, but the fact that many men struggle to open up isn’t a coincidence. It’s so important that we change the narrative around men’s mental health so that men don’t have to suffer in silence.
So, now you know; those moustaches aren’t just a nationwide razor shortage. They’re a small-but-mighty show of support for men everywhere, encouraging them to check in with themselves and open up, which can save lives.
Why can it be hard for men to open up?
One of the main reasons that men struggle to open up about their feelings is down to gender stereotypes. From a young age, men are taught that they should be strong, physically and emotionally. Even if they’re not told this directly, the message is pretty hard to escape, thanks to TV, films and social media.
Being strong isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but the idea that to be strong, you can’t be emotional, is problematic. Men might see expressing themselves as a sign of weakness, which can make it harder for them to talk about their feelings. The result is that 40% of men won’t talk to anyone about their mental health.
Whether we talk about our emotions or not, we all have them, and acknowledging how we feel is good for our mental health. Asking men to squash their emotions down and pretend they don’t exist doesn’t just have a negative affect on men, it affects everyone. If men don’t learn how to work through more challenging emotions, they might act in a way that’s harmful to themselves or others.
Are men in minority groups more at risk?
When we talk about men’s mental health, it’s good to remember that not all men experience it the same way. Things like culture, ethnicity, sexuality, class and other background factors can really shape how someone perceives mental health and how easy or hard it is for them to open up.
Here are some interesting stats from Mental Health Foundation about how different groups of men are affected by mental health issues:
How does talking about mental health help?
Talking about our mental health can make a big difference to how we’re feeling. When you open up, it gives you the chance to work through your emotions, rather than keeping them bottled up. Sometimes just saying things out loud can help you to process them and gain some clarity. Plus, having someone to lean on - someone who really understands - can make you feel less alone, which takes some of the weight off your shoulders.
Suicide is never straight-forward; there are countless factors that can lead to someone taking their own life. But, we do know that mental health awareness and talking about our mental health can help to reduce the risk of suicide.
There’s even some evidence that shows how asking someone if they’re suicidal can help to protect them. By asking them directly about suicide, you give them permission to say how they’re really feeling, and, it gives you the opportunity to reassure them that they’re not burdening you and that you’re there for them.
How do we change the narrative?
We’ve all got a role to play when it comes to changing the way we talk and approach men’s mental health. Here are a few simple things we can do as individuals to make a real difference:
Advice for men who are struggling to open up
So, you’re struggling to talk about your mental health? We get it, there can be a lot of pressure to pretend everything’s fine, but the reality is that staying silent isn’t going to help anyone, least of all you. Here are some tips for how to open up for better mental health:
If you’re nervous about opening up, we’d suggest talking to someone who you think is likely to be supportive. We can’t control other people’s responses, but talking to an understanding person can help you to feel less worried when confiding in them.
If you like there isn’t anyone in your life that you can talk to, or you’re not ready to speak to someone you know, there are mental health services that can offer support (we’ve listed some below!). If you want to talk to someone right now, call Samaritans for free on 116 123. In the case of a mental health emergency, call 999.
Ask yourself what it is about opening up to someone that makes you feel afraid. Are you worried that you’ll be judged, that you won’t be taken seriously, or that the person you talk to might treat you differently? Now, ask yourself, based on your experience of the person you’re confiding in, how likely is this to happen? If you’re talking to someone you trust, like a friend or a family member, the chances are that they will try to support you, rather than shun you.
Before you go into the conversation, it can be really helpful to think about what you want to get out of it. For instance, do you want to get something off your chest while the other person listens, or are you hoping for some advice on a specific situation? Let the person who you’re talking to know this - it’s helpful for them to have a good idea of what you need.
Being prepared can help to ease your nerves. Here are a few things to think about beforehand:
Seeking professional help
Talking to a friend or family member can be really helpful when it comes to managing our mental health, but if you’re struggling to cope, you might need additional support from a professional service.
Statistically, men are less likely to access psychological therapies than women; only 36% of referrals to NHS talking therapies are for men. This could be partly to do with the things we’ve already covered, like how men feel less comfortable with being vulnerable and opening up. Remember, getting help is nothing to be ashamed of, and we should all feel able to access healthcare when we need it.
At ieso, we offer cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) for a range of common mental health disorders, including depression, anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Our sessions are all online, where therapist and patient type back and forth via our secure online portal. This means that you can join a session anywhere, as long as you have the internet. Our service is flexible and never judgemental.
Not sure whether you need therapy? This article might help. You can also find out more about our service and how to get started here.
Mental health resources for men:
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