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By the time we hit our 40s and 50s, life can finally start to feel a little bit easier. We might have confidence, more cash and more time to finally focus on ourselves. And then, boom. Menopause crashes the party and makes it a whole lot harder to enjoy all the good stuff we’ve earned.
So, most of us will probably know what menopause is; it’s when a woman’s menstrual cycle stops, and this happens due to a decline in certain ovarian hormones. But the symptoms? They can come as an unwelcome shock to a lot of people.
It turns out that our hormones can really mess with us, physically and mentally. One minute you’re a calm and collected person, the next you’re battling with blinding rage because someone’s chewing too loudly. Your body acts like a space heater without warning, you can’t sleep, you can’t remember why you’ve gone into any room, and don’t even get us started on incontinence.
There’s no sugarcoating it; menopause is a wild ride, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t support out there or that you have to go through all of this alone. We’re going to cover some of the most common questions about menopause, the ever-so-fun list of symptoms to look out for and signpost you to resources that might be useful. Let’s get into it…
What actually is menopause?
Not sure what menopause actually is? That’s completely understandable and not uncommon. As women, we’re not always taught an awful lot about our bodies, so most people find that there’s some self-learning that needs to be done when menopause arrives.
Menopause is a phase that every woman will go through. Natural menopause is where your ovarian function declines, which means that your ovaries stop releasing eggs and produce less of the hormones, oestrogen and progesterone. Surgical menopause is where you’ve had your ovaries removed. Both cause your periods to stop and mark the end of your reproductive years.
Natural menopause isn’t an overnight thing, it’s a gradual process. You’re officially in menopause when you haven’t had a period for twelve months, but before that, there’s a warm-up act, AKA perimenopause.
Perimenopause is the transition into menopause, and the point where you'll notice changes to your menstrual cycle, like your cycle becoming longer and your periods becoming lighter or heavier. It’s also when you’re likely to start having menopause symptoms, which tend to worsen as perimenopause goes on.
Menopause usually happens between the ages of 45 and 55 years old, with the average age in the UK being 51, although around 1% of people experience early menopause, when they’re under the age of 40. The average age to start perimenopause is 47, and this can last anywhere from a few months to ten years, but the average duration is four years. Women really do get to have all the fun, don’t we?
What are the signs to look out for?
Do you often find yourself asking “is this menopause”? Maybe when you overheat or feel a surge of anger if your partner doesn’t put their shoes away (sounds valid to us). We’ve saved you the Google search and put together a list of the most common menopause symptoms. But remember, everyone’s experience is different. Some people’s symptoms are mild, while some are more severe, and between 10% to 20% of women won’t experience any symptoms at all.
Although these are the symptoms that tend to crop up the most, there are actually more than 30 recognised symptoms of menopause, so if you’re experiencing anything out of the ordinary, it’s worth making a note and raising it with your doctor.
How can menopause affect your mental health?
Hormones can have a huge impact on how we feel (just think about how your mood can change in the lead up to your period, or the emotional rollercoaster that is pregnancy and post-partum) so it’s no wonder that menopause can affect our mental health.
During perimenopause and menopause, it’s pretty common to experience anxiety and low moods; research shows that more than half of perimenopausal women report an increase in depressive symptoms. You might also feel really angry, have panic attacks, mood swings or even develop new fears and phobias (like we said, the fun never stops!).
A lot of people don’t feel like themselves during menopause. You might struggle to enjoy the things you used to or feel like you’ve lost your spark. When your confidence and self-esteem is low this can have a knock-on effect on lots of different areas of your life, from your relationships to how you feel at work.
Not to mention, the physical symptoms of menopause can impact your mood. If night sweats are keeping you up and your body aches, you're not going to feel on top of your game mentally. The combination of physical and mental symptoms can be overwhelming and not knowing how long they will last for can add to feelings of hopelessness.
If you’ve never experienced mental health issues before menopause, these symptoms can take you by surprise and feel confusing, but remember, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s important to acknowledge how you’re feeling, talk to someone you trust and seek help if you’re struggling (keep scrolling for more on this).
What can help with menopause symptoms?
Some people think that they should ‘just get on it’ when it comes to menopause, and 45% of women have never spoken to their GP about their symptoms, but you absolutely don’t have to suffer in silence. There are a range of things that can help with menopause symptoms and your GP will be able to advise you on your options.
Some of the things they might suggest include:
Don’t underestimate the importance of self-care when you’re going through menopause; taking time for yourself can make a huge difference to your physical and mental health. Things like eating a balanced diet, moving your body regularly, going to bed and getting up at the same time and doing things you enjoy (yes, watching Netflix counts) can all help you to cope better.
How can CBT help with menopause?
CBT is a type of talking therapy that helps you to recognise and change unhelpful thought and behaviour patterns. Although it’s not going to stop hot flashes (if only!) it can help you to manage your mood and your mental health, whether you’re dealing with anxiety, low moods or panic attacks.
During CBT, you will:
At ieso, we offer typed CBT, where patient and therapist can speak back and forth via our secure online platform. Because our service is remote, you can join a session from the comfort of your own home. There’s no waiting lists, we’ll match you with a therapist quickly so that you can get started. Refer yourself here.
Where can I find menopause support?
There are some great charities and organisations that offer information and support for people going through menopause. Here are a few to check out:
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