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Watching a friend or family member struggle with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can be incredibly tough. You’re probably worried about their wellbeing, and on top of that, trying to understand what they’re going through and how best to support them can feel overwhelming. It’s normal to worry about saying or doing the wrong thing, but the truth is, you don’t need to have all the answers. Just being there and showing that you care can mean the world to someone.
Below, we’ve broken down what PTSD really is and shared some practical ways you can support your loved one.
What is PTSD?
These days, the term ‘PTSD’ is thrown around a lot, but it’s often used incorrectly. This can lead to confusion around what PTSD actually is, which makes it harder for people to recognise when someone they care about might be struggling. So let’s clear things up…
PTSD is triggered by experiencing or witnessing a genuinely terrifying event. Most people will relive the traumatic event through flashbacks and nightmares that leave them feeling anxious and on edge. Some other common symptoms include hypervigilance, guilt and shame relating to the event and avoidance of anything that reminds them of the event.
How to support someone with PTSD
The more that you know about PTSD, the more you’ll be able to help your loved one. Plus, learning about what they’re going through will show them that you want to be there for them and help them feel less alone. This blog is a great place to start and we’ve written more about PTSD here.
If your friend or family member is ready to open up, let them talk at their own pace and share what they feel comfortable with. It’s important not to push them, so if they don’t want to give details, they shouldn’t have to. Instead, let them know that when they do want to talk, you’ll be there to listen.
If they get upset or cry, whether it’s when they’re talking about their trauma or seemingly out of nowhere, it’s important to make sure that they feel supported. Let them know that it’s okay to feel their feelings and they shouldn’t be embarrassed.
PTSD symptoms are triggered by things that remind the person of their trauma. Triggers can take all kinds of forms and they’re unique to what someone has been through. They might be sights, sounds, places, smells, dates, or they can be thoughts and emotions.
It’s really useful to know what someone’s triggers are so that you can understand the kinds of situations that might be distressing for them. That way, you can try to avoid them, or when they happen, you’ll be aware that your loved one might need some support.
PTSD can be hard to understand if you haven’t been through it yourself. You might wonder why your loved one can’t just ‘move on’ from their trauma, but it’s important that you don’t make them feel judged. It can take time to heal from PTSD and the journey will be easier if they feel supported.
At the end of the day, whether your loved one gets professional help or not is up to them. However, you could support them by going to a doctor’s appointment with them, helping them to research PTSD or finding helpful resources for them - we’ve made a list at the bottom of this article.
A crisis plan can help your loved one if they’re having severe PTSD symptoms. It should outline what steps to take to manage a situation that feels overwhelming. Having a clear plan in place can help them to feel more in control, and it’s useful for you to know what the plan is too so that you can support them. You could suggest making the plan together and it might help to ask these questions:
Remember, if your loved one is triggered by something, stay calm, encourage them to breathe slowly and deeply in and out, and reassure them that they’re safe. In the case of a mental health emergency, where you feel as though they might be a threat to themselves, call 999.
Looking after your own mental health
When someone you care about is going through a tough time, it can take a toll on you too, so it’s important to check in with your own mental health. Are you feeling more down, anxious, or irritable than usual? These can be signs that you’re starting to struggle.
To stop stress from building up, try to make self-care a priority. That might mean getting enough sleep, moving your body, or carving out some time to properly relax. And don’t forget, setting boundaries is a form of self-care too. It’s okay to step back and think about your own needs. If things are feeling a bit much, is there someone else who could step in and support your loved one while you take a break?
If you’re struggling with your mental health, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can help. ieso offers typed CBT for a range of mental health issues, from anxiety to depression, PTSD. All of our appointments are online, so you can join them from the comfort of your home. Find out more about what we do.
PTSD resources:
Mental health affects us all. This means it's essential that mental health services are equally available to everyone, everywhere. This World Mental Health Day, 10th October, we explore the right to access care.
This week is National Work Life Week, a campaign led by the charity, Working Families, to get people talking about wellbeing at work and work-life balance.
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