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Being a teenager has never been easy, but the age of cancel culture has added a whole new layer to the experience. Now, all it takes is for someone to take a post out of context or simply disagree with you online, and suddenly, you’re cancelled. But what does being “cancelled” actually mean? Is it about holding others accountable, or is it just bullying under a pseudonym?
As a parent, if your child is using social media, it’s important to understand what cancel culture is and how getting hate online can affect your mental health. Learning about this now can give you a head start in supporting them if they find themselves on the other end of a social media shaming.
What is cancel culture?
Generally speaking, cancel culture is where a celebrity or a company does something that people consider offensive, so they’re called out for it online and publicly shamed, which leads to people boycotting them. However, cancel culture is now becoming more common amongst kids and teenagers who use social media.
If a child becomes a victim of cancel culture, their peers might be sharing and re-sharing things about them so that their friends and schoolmates hear about it. News spreads fast on social platforms, so the situation can spiral pretty quickly.
Getting cancelled on social media can look like:
The impact of a child or teenager being cancelled can be:
Why might someone get cancelled?
There are so many reasons why the internet might turn on someone. When public figures or companies are involved, it can be a case of them causing harm or doing something offensive (whether they meant to or not), but when school kids are cancelling each other, the reasons can massively vary.
Someone might be cancelled for something they’ve said that’s been taken the wrong way, expressing an opinion that others don’t agree with or saying something mean in the heat of the moment. Sometimes, there’s no real explanation and cancelling someone is just used as a tool to isolate and reject them.
The problem with cancel culture is that:
When is cancelling someone considered bullying?
As we’ve mentioned, calling people out on social media can be seen as a way to hold them accountable. The problem is that the method of cancelling someone tends to overlap with the definition of cyberbullying.
Cyberbullying is when someone harasses, threatens or embarrasses another person using technology. So, when cancelling someone looks like this, it’s considered cyberbullying:
How can cancel culture impact mental health?
As humans, it’s in our nature to want to be liked and accepted by the people around us, and this need for social approval is even stronger in teenagers, who are at a point in their lives where it feels more important than ever to fit in. So, when teens are cancelled online and frozen out by their peers, this can have a huge impact on their mental health. They might struggle with:
Even if the other kids don’t agree with the reason that someone’s been cancelled, they might go along with it or keep quiet so they’re not targeted themselves. This means that the person who’s been cancelled loses friends and stops being invited to things, leaving them feeling alone and isolated.
The threat of being cancelled can make teens feel afraid to speak their mind or post anything to social media at all. They might be constantly second-guessing themselves and constantly worry about being judged.
Being publicly shamed, abused and humiliated can have a major impact on a young person’s confidence and self-esteem.
Being cancelled can be really difficult to cope with and come back from. Teens might feel sad, hopeless and like things will never get better.
If you notice your teen is struggling with their mental health, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help. At ieso, we offer talking therapy for a range of mental health issues, including anxiety and depression. Our appointments are remote and flexible. Here’s how to get started.
How can parents help their kids navigate cancel culture?
It can be really helpful to have an open conversation with your kids about cancel culture, even if you don’t think it’s affecting them. That way, if they’re ever in a situation where they’re targeted or if it happens to someone they know, they’ll be able to recognise it and have a better idea of what to do.
You could spark a debate about whether they think cancel culture is a good or a bad thing. This will naturally lead to talking about some of the problems that come with it, for instance, how out of proportion it can be and how it overlaps with cyberbullying. They might open up about their own experiences and if it’s something they’ve witnessed or been through.
It could also be a good chance to talk about what they should do if they’re cancelled. They might worry that if they tell you they’re being cyberbullied, you’ll take their phone away, so you could reassure them that this won’t happen, and instead let them know how to deal with online abuse themselves. For instance, they should:
What to do if your child is cancelled
It’s heartbreaking to know that your child is being bullied. You might feel helpless and angry that this is happening to them, but just remember, your support can make a huge difference. Here’s how to help:
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